Olympic Mountain Range
Hello to all of you who have followed my journey. It is only fair to keep you abreast of my feelings, thoughts and the possibilties as my spirit begins to soar, and I can walk through that door, filled with your love and hopefully acceptance of the choice I have made.
First of all Washington state has put a law in place that allows a terminally ill person the right to choose his own death.
http://www.compassionandchoices.org/page.aspx?pid=308
This brings hope and solace to those of us living in hospice. I have been so blessed, surrounded by love and living energy. I have watched my body deteriorate, felt the increase of pain and the loss of bone mass. I am losing the ability to do artwork, have lost movement in my body and the ability to travel. If any of you have felt what it is like to move ones limbs in space, dancing effortless to music and then it is gone...you know what I am talking about.Even as I share with you my recent love of life painting and drawing, and great teachers, I am watching it slip away.
However, my dream of having an artist's residence recently came true as I bought a house in a small artists' village France south of the Loire.
{see http://www.la-maison-hirondelle.blogspot.com/}
I named it La Maison Hirondelle after spending lovely evenings on the terrace with friends sipping a regional Rosé watching the swallows winging as the sun set. My hopes continue for this lovely light filled house as it now has a studio in the loft ripe for creative energy.
Loft
Never the spirit was born; the spirit shall cease to be never;Never was time it was not; End and Beginning are dreams!Birthless and deathless and changeless remaineth the spirit forever;Death hath not touched it at all, dead though the house of it seems.
Bhagavad Gita
Back to rainy Washington state (well we did have two full days of sun for Earth Day weekend), where I am residing, I know that this lovely space in France is being used by artists and that makes me happy.
Thanks to you who made this possible!!
For myself,I have been occupying my time with some meditations, doing a little ink work (ie ornamental alphabets) to steady my hand. The last painting done was in February back in Miami as a gift for a friend who wanted a portrait of her cat Tiggley. I attach it here.
Tiggly
Happy Easter !
I wish you all the peace and promise of rebirth, of love ,
the spirit of hope and legacy of creativity.
Tanza
I wish you all the peace and promise of rebirth, of love ,
the spirit of hope and legacy of creativity.
Tanza
12 comments:
Tanza,
You have always radiated unyielding energy and light. Thank you for sharing your eternal spirit and love.
You remain dear in my heart forever.
Eva
Dear Tanza,
I think of you every day and feel your spirit in our little town.
My friend Hugh is making giant landscapes in the countryside and started a portrait in the studio (I gave him a drop cloth to protect the floors :) ). I sat in your living room the other night and watched the swallows play (there are *so* many birds on your side of town).
I miss you dearly and wish that we could share a cup of coffee at the cafe...
Thank you for sharing your beautiful house and studio with other artists - they are so grateful...
I am sending love, as always,
Michelle
Dear Tanza,
We loved your painting of Tiggley the cat and are so pleased that you can still create beauty in your life. We spent some time in Argenton a few weeks ago and the buds on the trees are opening, the flowers pushing through the earth and the first swallows have arrived - it is all very beautiful.
We return again in May for the summer and will drink a glass of Rose to your health on our terrace where you sat with us a couple of years ago.
Love and best wishes
Peter & Caroline xx xx
Your wisdom deepens and inspires all of us to appreciate the details of every moment of our lives. Thank you. Blessings as you transition into your next adventure. You certainly understand the illusion of this material world and your ability to dance the dance with that understanding is wonderful. God Bless You, Tanza. Thank you for guiding us all.
Dear Tanza - This is from the book I carried with me the first winter I studied with TSJ. I read it end to end, at a pace that filled those first six months in France exactly. I have it here even now. - tim
"When we are alone on a starlit night; when by chance we see the migrating birds in autumn descending on a grove of junipers to rest and eat; when we see children in a moment when they are really children; when we know love in our own hearts; or when like the poet Basho we hear an old frog land in a quiet pond with a solitary splash - at such times the awakening, the turning inside out of values, the newness, the emptiness and the purity of vision that make themselves evident, provide a glimpse of the cosmic dance.
The world and time are the dance of the Lord in emptiness. The silence of the spheres is the music of a wedding feast.
The more we persist in misunderstanding the phenomena of life, the more we analyze them out into strange finalities and complex purposes of our own, the more we involve ourselves in sadness, absurdity and despair.
But it does not matter much, because no despair or ours can alter the reality of things, or stain the joy of the cosmic dance which is always there. Indeed we are in the midst of it, and it is in the midst of us, for it beats in our very blood, whether we want it to or not.
Yet the fact remains that we are invited to forget
ourselves on purpose, cast our awful solemnity to the winds and join in the general dance."
– Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation, (the last page), © 1961
Hey Tanza,
You sure are a brave person! I can't tell you how much I admire your spirit and courage. I'm painting trees at the moment, and though they seem like they are standing still I know that they are actually dancing. They remind me of you.
With love,
Krista
Dear Tanza
Thank you for letting us all be a part of your journey through your words and photos.
I am thinking of you as I look out on the same rainy Washington day. I hope that the green, the mist, the ocean and trees are giving you strength and beauty.
Thinking of you, sending light and love,
Mercia
Dear Tanza
I only found out about this blog of yours today. Reading it is certainly a moving experience. Your courage is inspiring.
A few days ago, I enjoyed a nice glass of rosé in good company while watching the Sun setting after an unusually warm April's day. Reminds me of those days on the terrace of La Maison Hirondelle. Maybe I should prepare some slices of pear with goat's cheese like you made it.
Keep your spirits high.
Christoffer
Hello Tanza
I'm moved by your words Tanza and can hear your voice speaking clearly in my head. I send my love and my family's to you from New Zealand.
Zarahn
Dear Tanza,
We thought very often to you, sending you, love and energy for these days
we love you, we are lucky to know you, such beautiful personn !!
We are very happy your house is open and living, and usefull for artists, we hope it can be open very often each year
the things you write about your thought and your emotions are wonderfull for me (and all of us)
all this way is so brave !!!
you teach a lot of things to us while you write your "way"
last week, during my hollidays in Corrèze (middle of France) I went walkink along a small river and waterfalls with my sisters and nephews, I "brought you" in my heart and I sent you all this marvellous energy of wonderfull landscape !! I felt your energy and your love of life with me, I hope you received also !!!
We are with you for ever
Love
Agnès and Gilles ans Anna
Tanza!
I have been following your blog and thinking of you often, your bright spirit, our visits to the Couteleaus together, and of course, hula hooping! I don't think I will ever see a hula hoop again and not think of you!
Sending love and best wishes your way.
XOX
Harmony
the end of life... the beginning of a new Life.
Klaas
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