Sunday, September 12, 2010

To Guide the Way

Lighthouse in the morning

Amy and I will finally depart from Humlegaarden tomorrow, Monday 13 Sept. We fly to Paris and then take the train back to Argenton. We are both anxious for change , gudied by the light of unknowing.
We walk each day along the sea, I have been on the stationary bike 5K, and do some simple movement exercise. Mobility is limited front and back and lateral, but I able to pick up after myself again, carry dishes and little by litte the pain is easing. I will be able to do real therpy after three months, so I am looking at December for that.
I have learned how to give myself injections of helixor/iscador ( mistletoe) and other homeopathic tinctures for the immune system. I will be continuing this and vitamins and other treatments when I leave.
As the sun comes out after the rain, sparkling in the trees and dripping from the grand oak, I step out into the light of a new life. I don't know what the furture holds and I am learning to live quietly in the present, listening to the silent spaces in my body and in the environment around me. I have had to learn to accept the change in my body and I will admit I did not do it gracefully, but with many tears and restless questioning.
I am grateful for the healing time here, for the amazing generosity of the women that made it financially possible, as I have been given a gift of more time on the planet.
As I said, we will be traveling today, and Amy, as always will help me with luggage, packing and organising the journey.
PS Amy's latest post is a fun overview of where we have been staying. If you are interested:http://southofsabai.wordpress.com/2010/09/12/excursions-and-sightings/
Thank you for all your support.
Love and light
Tanza

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Humlegaarden


Here it is the first week of September. I have been four weeks at Humlgaarden on the Baltic Sea. I am told we are very lucky that the weather has been calm and fair. Mornings, Amy and I walk to the sea and marvel at the hardiness of the Danish who come for an early morning dip.














Nearby is an ancient site full of energy in a woods guarded by old oaks and elms.







The clinic consists of a ring of apt/cottages and
a grassy lawn, well kept gardens, and a giant oak around the main building.
In the main buiding is the dining hall where we have three lovely vegetarian meals a day, a drawing room filled with eclectic art, antique furniture, a piano and a standing bass.
Dr Finn, often gives a lecture there in the evening on some for the therapies and their discovery.
Other small rooms are used for therapies which I won't discuss here as you can peruse their website if you are interested. http://www.humlegaarden.com/uk/index.html


As far as my health, After x rays and a ct scan it was decided that I needed radiation. . One afternoon they came a whisked us away to the hospital in Copenhagen and I met with an oncologist who ordered an MRI. Next thing we knew I was talking to the spine surgeon about emergency surgery or the result would be paralysis.
I was treated with decompression and instrumental fusion which basically means they cut me open from the L1 to TH11(that's a big scar!) Bye bye flexibility. I am learning a new kind of flexibility, letting go, grateful that I can walk.
After the first day post op, I did manage to get up and after five days in the hospital I was back at Humlegaarden with crutches, hobbling back and forth to the sea.
Today is the tenth day and the sutures have been removed and I am walking slowly on my own again.
Amy has been my constant companion and a joy to be with. She holds me up when I fall into the darkness, never judging, just gently there, her beautiful smile ready. She has helped me with vitamins, meds, carried my plates, endured many sleepless nights as I tossed in pain.

What more to say? We are waiting to get post op radiotherapy and I am patiently healing, making small exercises and therapies.

Each day is a challenge, I am doing some light and color therapy with music, resting in the sun when it is warm, reading, being still, sometimes I try to sketch. I think about the preciousness of life and how I stood on the threshold , but the door was closed and I have been given the gift of a new life. I think about painting and how new and wonderful that felt to me, laying a pallette, poster studies, painting light.
I don't know what will be and as Amy says, "One breath at a time..."

This I leave you with and an incredible emotion of love and gratefulness to the angels that have made this possible for me, for the prayers and emails of support, and the love and light that fuses the air around me because of all of you.
Blessings, Tanza