the unfolding story

54th birthday

I have had overwhelming response to my first post, and I must say that I hesitated to start this because of,

1.} don't want to make a fuss

2} kinda scared of the outcome

3} maybe I am just filling peoples' inbox with too much...

4} blablabla excuses etc.

In review, this is the drama as it unfolded. I met an angel named Martine Vaugel (a brilliant sculptor) who convinced me to get myself checked and even became my surrogate mom, a friend, helping when I got lost in the language, and driving me to and fro.

Oct 1 the name day of St Michel (St. Michael.. I took it to be a good sign) I got the results of the biopsy, which revealed cancer cells on the neck of the cervix.

Oct 6 I had an MRI which revealed a tumor which the dr. cheerfully told us that it was good news, 4 cm and "operable"

At this point, I began juicing, raw food, I cut out meat, bread, sugar, dairy and cut down to one coffee in the morning, no alcohol.

Veggies and juice

I wrote in my journal," Here I am another day, a day of love, a day of play"

Oct 8 I got assistance from Social Services to pay for all the tests.

Oct 11 I dreamt of diseased masses of cells polished white.

Oct 18, 2009 a Sunday a full moon birthday I began my 54th year .

In this last year, I saw my father go to the other side, I healed a broken wrist and a broken relationship, finished eight months study with Ted Jacobs, began study with Gundula Jacobs, learned a hell of a lot about a lot of things, as well as landscape painting, rounding and endings, no sharp edges, look more, compare constantly, don't trust your first assumptions... was diagnosed with cervical cancer, I felt deep lonliness and found a deep love, painted a dog, a mask, a beautiful living being, and met many new loving friends.

Oct 19 I had the exploratory surgery that revealed a larger 6 cm tumor and the above definitions(first post).

Of course then the doubts set in and the depression as the name of the disease danced around in my head, doctors being very convincing about the need for chemo, radio etc

By Monday I felt stronger and more certain that I have chosen the right path, I cannot afford doubts or emotional dramas/conflicts. I am feeling quite well with my new diet and after two weeks I added some quinoa and millet because the weather here is so cold.

Started on MMS and got some Lysine and proline. I substituted chicory for half the coffee to wean myself. I actually like the taste of chicory and it is good for you.

I am feeling joyous and have a lot of faith in the process. Each day becomes precious and learning to truly care for myself and honor my body in it's temporary form. It has become a work in process. I am learning as I go. I found a few references of other women who chose to go the health route, who are happy and committed to a bright life. I found many many sites about chemo and pain and sadness.

So that is my story up until this Tuesday when I had what I consider to be my last test, a PET scan , the purpose being to see if there was infected ganglia and today I heard that there is none, the tumor has not metasticized, so good news.

Thanks for all the support!